| How do I tell my dad I'm gay? I think it's about time to let my dad know that I like guys, not girls. I've never talked about my sex life with my dad and I never put it in front of him...now I think that I need to tell him , cause he needs to know...or at least I think it would be good for him to know that I'm dating guys.. I don't wanna say -dad I'm gay, I don't have a boyfriend right now, but I think when I get into a relationship with someone it would be the best way to tell him by introducing my boyfriend to him. I'm 19 and still depend financially on my dad, I go to college and I don't wanna feel like I'm hiding such a big thing ....I live in Bulgaria and unfortunately there is no gay marriage like in some countries in Europe and Canada, so that is another thing that is bugging me..one day I wanna get married ....I want my dad to be by my side at that moment.. What do you guys think would be the best approach to my dad? Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 13 Answers Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions : 1 : I just told my dad I was gay, and that nothing he can say or do will change it. If you rely on him financially, and don't believe he'll take it that well, wait until you don't rely on him and then inform him. 2 : don't tell him until u don't live with him. 3 : ask your father to pray with you. God does not ordain gay marriage 4 : If that's your choice you don't need to get married to do another man. You don't need to tell your dad unless you are a kid, if you are grown well you are grown and act grown, if you are straight would you go and tell your dad that you like girls? no. 5 : 1-Wait until ur financially INdependent 2-Do NOT make it a shock ...Do it gradually...like hint and step by step go into that 3-The day when u will tell him, keep ur hear high and NOT say something like' i am sorry , i am gay ' BUT 'Dad, I love you ...and for this reason wanted to tell u I am gay ...." Good luck, Bro 6 : maybe wait til youre completely on your own? chances are hes gonna freak most dads do.. or just come out and tell him, its gonna be hard though unfortunately im sorry 7 : Steven, First of all good luck sweetie..this must be a huge burden. Are you 100% sure that he doesn't already know? Most of the time parents know already...whether or not they verbalize it or not is another matter. I don't know what kind of Dad you have but, if he is a decent human being, that loves his son he will be understanding. Please realize though it may take him a while to get to a place of complete acceptance. Do you have another adult that you are close to that is also close to your father...perhaps an aunt or uncle or something like that? You could talk with that person first and then ask them to come along when you tell your Dad. Please realize that your father loves you. As a parent myself, I know that as a parent you would be disappointed if your son or daughter were gay...but only because it's not the easiest of lives for the gay person and as a parent you want your child to have a life full of sunny days with warm breezes...LOL...but, nothing, would come between my child and me. Certainly not his being gay. Good luck, I hope this helps. Thinking of you. 8 : " Hey dad, how's it going, how's mom? everything alright? well cya later...oh by the way im gay dad." Then tell him how you like ***** and say he must accept you for who you are...his son. and there you have it, you got yourself his acceptance. 9 : First off, 'America IS a Christian Nation' is the kind of person NO ONE ON EARTH SHOULD LISTEN TO. anyone who is needing help with the gay and christian area, I recommend they read this: http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian On wards. Do you have any idea how your dad might take such things? Do you think that, even if he took it hard, he would actually withdraw his financial support? It really is kind of circumstantial. Not whether or not that you tell him, you either can or you don't have to. But the way you go about it and what to expect depends on what he believes and so on. Most likely you know already better than anyone else how you can approach him. 10 : What makes you think he doesn't know. 11 : You'll know when the time is right, Don't rush it and wait till you can manage on your own i have friends who were beaten and kicked out because of their sexuallity you never know how it can affect you or how someone will react. SOCIETY STINK's RELION SUCKS ANYONE AGAINST GAYS ARE EITHER JEALOUS OR GOT THERE HEAD TOO FAR UP THERE OWN A$$. If god is real he made you how he intended you to be, this and the above is for those religion ass's and homophobics sorry i like to speak my mind 12 : Steven, I understand your emotions. I discovered that I was gay at 18 and convinced myself that my parents could never accept that about me. At the time, I was also dependent on my parents financially and went deeply into the closet. For me, the result was serious depression and nearly constant thoughts of suicide. Somehow, I managed to survive through that period of my life and when I was 25 I decided to come out to my parents. I wanted to begin dating and it was important to me that my parents knew I was gay before I started dating, because they were certain to find out afterward. I started by joining a Yahoo! group for coming out. I met some great people on there and had an opportunity to air my concerns, fears, etc. That was really helpful, because when you decide to come out, you will need to be really sure of yourself. Once I got up the courage to come out, I told my brother first. I knew he would be supportive and i needed to build a support network for the "riskier" folks (i.e. my parents). Then while driving home from work one day, I just told him. I don't recommend this strategy, because coming out can be really emotional and driving is probably not the best activity, but it was the only time I could get some alone time with him. For me, it was important to script out what I wanted to say, although the conversations never went according to script. It was also important to have the discussion one-on-one so I didn't feel like I was being ganged up on and the other person could feel free to ask questions, if they wanted. Be prepared that when you come out your dad may need some time to adjust. I've been out for a year and a half now and my parents are still struggling. Sometimes that makes me angry, but hey it took me seven years to get the courage to tell them, so I need to give them some time as well. I hope you get the opportunity to marry when you are ready. I am in the United States and marriage is a huge question right now. My state doesn't allow same-sex marriage and in fact bans any recognition of same-sex unions in our state constitution. I hope we are able to change that soon! Good luck to you! It is a difficult process, but for me anyway, it was well worth it. 13 : Thankfully you are old enough to live outside the family home. Contact pflag.org and ask for info about being gay and how to tell the folks. In the mean time, put your toe in the water--- see how your dad reacts when you mention something about gay people, a gay friend, a gay actor, etc. If it is bad reaction, expect him to behave badly when you tell him. Before you tell him start meeting other gay people, particularly parents of gay people or other gay adults. Keep a bag packed too. Just in case coming out day goes badly you'll be able to call a friend to come get you and be supportive. I wish you well. It's hard to give advise to someone not living in the US. The situation, the laws, the acceptance, etc might be totally different. HUGS |
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