This will be a long question, but I would appreciate if you help me. So 12 years ago, I have been 3 years old boy when my aunt met her husband. They got a child, and when I was 5, they went to USA.THey went legally and lived with friends at first. Here she had a nice job, wheres in USA, she was delivering pizzas. So for many years everybody in my family was thinking that my aunt and her husband are mad, to leave their nice jobs, friends and so on for delivering pizzas. Two years ago, out of blue sky she said that she has studied and is now a teacher. Suddenly my whole family wasn't that much skeptical about them, but when she started working part time jibs, everybody again was laughing at them. Again, out of nowhere, she said that she is buying a new house and a new car. Her husband, who lost his job, many months ago stated work last month. Everything was working fine for them. My cousin, their son, is going to a nice school from next year and so on. Now is the point to say, that I have always have helped them. I have made many good stuff through the years to help my aunt and her family. Like I gave my grandparents my old computer, and showed them how to call my aunt through skype. I have sent her Christmas cards, all stuff that kid can do. Now their life is fine, and I made a comparison between their life and the mine. My family moved into a new apartment a few years ago, we have two new cars, and other cool things, but my family is rubbish. We are not a close family, we are more kind of a bunch of people eating on the same table and living in the same apartment. I really study hard, I am studying at a very prestige american school (although I live in Bulgaria), I have big ambitions, but when nobody motivates you, or when you lose your motivation, your life becomes a rubbish. There is an outside person from my family who has been something like a mother to me. I call, or meet with her when I need to talk to someone. She always gives me very good advices, and says that my life isn't rubbish, it is just that I haven't made it nice. And now I am sitting in front of the computer, and am asking myself what shall I do. I am working hard, I am doing whatever I can physically do, and yet thing aren't right. What have I done wrong? What may I still do? I have many times tried whatever, but my parents have no motivation or will to change neither themselves, nor anything in their family. Please tell me what shall I do?
Family - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You could start by your actions. You cannot control what others do, but you can continue to do the best that you can. Compliment them on something everyday. Make them see that there is good in everyone. You study hard and that is a good example to others. Things do not really matter in life. It is doing good for others, as you have done and hopefully will continue to do. When we die on earth, you cannot take any material thing with you. See what you can do for others besides your family, and as well as your family. You may rub off on them. Pray about what you can do on a daily basis for them.
2 :
Figure out something in life that will make you happy, career wise. Strive for good grades, for a good education, for a good job, and for independence. Do the things that make YOU happy (as long as it doesn't pertain to anything illegal) and don't worry about what your family may or may not say.
3 :
Well you sound depressed to me. You should just live your life and see where destiny takes you. You have a lot of potential and people with a lot of potential come quite a far way in life!
4 :
The problem is your family. You lack motivation, encouragement, support and love from your own parents and need more communication. Maybe you should try talking to them every night at the dinner table about your whole day and what happened at school. Even if it seems like they don't care or have nothing to say, don't be afraid and just keep talking like an annoying robot every single day. You'll actually start seeing an improvement in the family because you start to 'bore' them with your story that they'll get used to it and take interests resulting them to communicate back.
5 :
Get a hobby. find a distraction. get outside, do things stop thinking.
6 :
Im not sure what does your life have to do with your aunt and uncle. You said you supported your aunt in many ways so now do you want her to support you through your problems? Im not sure if I understand your Question
7 :
Do you actually need them to change their way of living life. Why do you really care that much? You say you are working hard to be "somebody" That is great. Keep on living your life just the way it is now. Except some of your friends nobody will ever be nice to you; so why do you think you need care? Come on! This is your life and you don't need anybody to give you advices as far as I've understood. You keep on living your way and let your family live as they want. Do not try to change them; it's brings much more boring conditions to your life. Just don't care; that's what I'm saying briefly.
8 :
i agree with Staphany.
9 :
as an outsider reading about your different family situations it sounds like everyone is a bit lost. Life isn't about aquiring 'stuff'. its nice to have stuff but what makes life worth living is LOVE. It's all about heart. Every person in your life is a gift. So many people are alone. They'd do anything to have people love them. Do loving things for your family. Say loving things. Do things that make them happy and surprize them. Find things that make you happy and give you joy. A life filled with love is a life with purpose. It's really not about money and jobs. Its great to acheive things in life, but if no one is there to share the success because they really could care less, that is depressing. Sometimes people take other people for granted. Make up your mind to not do that. Even if they treat you that way, don't treat them that way. Be interested in their day. The best part of life is when you are loved. If your folks just don't get it, than plug into a evangical church. The message their is love. God is love, and he made us with the big empty hole in our heart that needs love or these just don't work right. There are a lot of broken people in the world because people are self-based. They want someone to love them, but they don't know how to love others. God is all about love. Start a quest to learn more about God's love - start in the book of John and then the epistles of John. When you have love you are empowered and faith overflows and joy and all posative beautiful things. You become a channel of love and people want to be around you because you have confidence and strength. I pray you find a life filled with purpose because God didn't put you on this earth to think about money all the time and trying to figure out why your family is so dynfunctional. Dysfunction is a generational curse. parents negect (don't know how to love) their kids, and their kids become emotionally shut down. dysfunctional people attract other dysfunctional people because that is all they know and it feels 'normal' to them. so then they have kids and pass on the dysfunction. What you are discribing is dysfunction in your family. their is only one way to break generational curses, it is by God's power and strength. God is for real, and He has the answers you need. I pray you live by faith and find yourself empowered by love. a book called 'blessings or curses, you decide' by Derek Prince may help you. best wishes.
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