Ok so I've got a littlea problemo. It basically goes a little something like this. 1 2 3 4 hit it Jenkins on the floor. -I've just had a messy divorce with a ***** called Tracey (literally very messy with the amount of times she cheated on me) -I've just choked on a party ring (URGH) -The homeless guy, Rictabort, that I look after continues to call me obese and a 'freak of nature' -I've been demoted to lorry driver (i was a lottery manager before). And today I crashed the lorry into a mini, stupid idiot driving it wasnt going fast enough (i'm eating a twig btw) -I fell off my bike last week while learning to ride (one of the stabalisers came off) -I am being harrassed by my mother-in-law who keeps calling me 'green giant' because I wear a green M&S coat and am tall. The good things in my life are as follows: -Food on the plate, coins in the wallett (1ps and 2ps) -got a new girlfriend called Baratanta, really nice but a little old for my liking, she's also a bit camp + eats too much -the girlfriend is part of a Bulgarian cult called the 'Bulgarian honours'. She wants me to move to Bulgaria with her and join the cult, which involves changing my name, learning Bulgarian, believing Jesus originated in Bulgaria (don't have a problem with that, as mad as the Mormons). After speaking to Father Graham about this, he says Bulgaria is against Christianity and should be wiped off the earth which is what Jesus says in the Bible. What do you think I should do, go to Bulgaria or stay in Kent?
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oh Matthew stay in Kent, please
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