My in-laws live in Bulgaria (i'm from the US) and we are visiting them with our 5-yr old daughter. I have a rule for my daughter that I don't want her ever to be left alone with a man (other than dad or grandpa) because of the frightening statistics. 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused. Because my mother-in-law was going to be taking care of my daughter for a while, i unfortunately, had to let her know that i would not feel comfortable for my daughter to be left alone with my brother-in-law. I made it very clear to her. We even had a fight about it because she was upset with me for saying that. Let me add that my brother-in-law just so happens to be an extremely strange, unpredictable individual. Anyway, she ended up completely disregarding my rule, and left my daughter alone with the uncle. Let me explain, i will make no exceptions to this rule, and i don't care about sparing feelings when it comes to my daughter's well-being. Yes i could play it nice and make sure no one gets offended; but then there's that 1 in 3 chance that i'm not willing to take! Because of my vigilance, my daughter will not end up a statistic! Anyway, when i found out that my daughter had been left alone with the uncle, i was very upset and i confronted my mother and father-in-law. I asked my mother-in-law if i had not made myself clear to her. She just laughed and shook her head, like she couldn't believe i was upset. We have to stay in separate apartments because there's not enuf room for everyone here. My daughter sleeps with the grandparents in their bed, it's pretty crowded here. So anyway after the confrontation i went to my apartment to get away fro the awkwardness. My husband came and yelled at me that his parents now hate me and they are very insulted and how dare i not allow our daughter to be left alone with the uncle. His parents are saying that it's only in America that this kind of sexual perversion could ever happen. and i guess i'm just a stupid overreacting American! So now i can't show my face around them and they all hate me. my husband too. What can i do?
Family - 3 Answers
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1 :
to be honest i don't think you did anything wrong. you just care for your daughter and i completely understand that. but not all people do. why not explain to your husband that you dint mean to offend any body. and you only care for your/our daughter. if that doesn't work out i guess all can do is to ignore them and hopefully wait for this to blow over. just lead your own life with your daughter and ignore what they say. and if they say your being stubborn. just say you didn't listen to me so why should i ?? but i think the best thing to do is to talk talk with your family in a calm way. listen to what they have to say and come to some sort of agreement.
2 :
Just say your apology, and admit that you made a wrong perception with the family... and tell them that you just so afraid for your daughters life... and put on mind... you marry your husband and bond with him, it means you also bond with his family... so you need to trust them as you trust your husband and own family... it's is OK to be cautious but you just need learn to trust people... most of it is your family... and better give your daughter a little awareness and little advice...
3 :
I understand that you want to keep your daughter safe and that you are upset that they basically ignored your concerns for your daughter safety (I would be too). But I can also kind of see why they would be upset too (I would be upset if someone practically accused a family member of mine of being a potential sex offender). However you did mention you brother-in-law was strange and unpredictable so I can understand your concern, even though I would have a better understanding if you tell us what makes him so unpredictable. I would talk to your in-laws and your husband and explain to them how you don't want your daughter to be left alone with a man you don't know well or feel uncomfortable about. If they can't understand that then I would keep your daughter close to you as much as possible.
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